Posts Tagged ‘the past’

Penis Parties- April 7, 2014

Monday, April 7th, 2014

This weekend one of my best friends loaded her luggage in my Jeep and we took a road trip to the beach for the first time in awhile. Sara and I were off to celebrate another long-time bestie, Colleen. After a string of jerks  Colleen found Thomas. I knew when I met him that he was one. I was very fortunate to be able to go to the party since my aunt and uncle live a mile off the island. I was five minutes away from Henry if he needed me. It was the first night I spent away from my little 5-month-old.

photo (91)Kissing the bride.

Of the girls in our grade in the sorority, I was one of the first to get married. Let me assure you, I didn’t plan for it to be that way. Before I met Greyson I was convinced I wouldn’t get married until my 30’s. Love changes the best laid plans. It’s hard to believe it will be nine years this month. Colleen is one of the last to get married. We laugh about the differences between planning a wedding at 23 (me) and at 32 (her). For example, Colleen bought her own awesome Jimmy Choos to wear down the aisle because she makes her own money and she can. I didn’t ask my parents for Jimmy Choos since I was only two years out of college, poor and counting on them to pay for everything. I wouldn’t change anything, but don’t tell my parents or my husband that I do envy the maturity of Colleen’s wedding.

This is the only photographic evidence of my bachelorette party that I will share. It is edited to protect your fragile eyes. Yes, it is a blinking penis necklace.

bachelorette necklace


My party consisted of dinner, then a game of “Pin The Penis On The Hunk” and so many shots. So. Many. As each friend walked down the aisle, there was some ridiculous celebration or another. One girl wore a “Suck for a Buck” t-shirt covered in Lifesavers. For another friend we hid paper hearts with guys in bars and the bride had to go up to them and ask if they “had a heart on.” Some cowboy beefcake stripper boarded the party bus for my sister. The stories go on and on. All of these were during my twenties.

This weekend we had the privilege of staying at a family friend’s beautiful island mansion. We strolled on the dock, went out to a nice dinner and stopped at one bar. It wasn’t crowded. We danced for a bit, had a few drinks and were back at the house by 11:45. There was only one penis thing. A penis cake. This one had fondant and was baked by an actual chef. We laughed, remembering ten years ago when we bought some Betty Crocker mix and baked penis cakes for another friend.

I looked at Colleen’s happy face and realized this is so much better. We were silly college girls, then funny twenty-somethings and now we’re experienced. We’re wives, divorcees, mothers, professionals and still friends.

I looked at the cake and thought about that stupid blinking necklace and said, “You know, my relationship with the penis has changed now that I wipe a tiny one all the time.” The passage of time, penis by penis.


Potty Like It’s 1993

Sunday, June 23rd, 2013

Greyson was home bound this weekend for his 20th high school class reunion. (Insert old-man joke here. Trust me. I did.) He got a last-minute grossly overpriced plane ticket and went to hang with the class of ’93. 1993 was the same year Beverly Hills 90210 and Saved By The Bell graduated. (If you remember “Donna Martin graduates!” Awesome, we can be friends.) This dear man has a hard time doing things just for him so I pretty much made him go. He hung out at my 10-year reunion a few years ago and partied with my class like it was 1999, so I made sure he got on a plane Friday.


This started Mother-Daughter Potty Training Weekend ’13.

Charlotte’s teacher and I had a good talk about her bathroom progress. We both know she can do it. She goes everyday, but only because we make her. The child simply does not stop her intense playing/reading/singing/dancing/running long enough to go. She would rather go in her pants than stop and go in the potty. We have flirted with Pull-Ups for too long and I’m sick of the diaper company’s overpriced ploy to keep my kid in their glorified diapers. We’re done. Her teacher has potty trained many toddlers in her career and agreed with me that Pull-Ups aren’t cutting it and this kid needed to go cold turkey.

So we did. No turning back now. Pull-Up at night and during naptime. Panties the rest of the time. We’re doing it.

That conversation was Wednesday, the same day Charlotte spotted the one item she has not stopped talking about since. A girl in her class has an older sister in the Pre K class with a Rapunzel backpack. Seeing the Rapunzel “pack pack” was all Charlotte needed. I promised her I would get her one if she went #1 and #2 on the potty and CONSISTENTLY stayed clean and dry.

I understand this is bribery to teach a life skill.  I don’t care. Feel free to judge me and my parenting. 

Thursday at school she kept her Abby Cadabby panties dry on the way to school. I was very skeptical and filled her cubby container with extra clothes. I was shocked to find her that evening in the same Abby panties, clean and dry.  I was thrilled to tell her she was on her way to her “pack-pack” goal.

Friday she did great until a #2 fiasco at the end of the day that resulted in her teacher having to toss her precious pair of Rapunzel panties. She tearfully told me “Miss Cyn-tee-a frew my Rapunzel panees in da trashcan!” (Translation: Miss Cynthia threw my Rapunzel panties in the trashcan.) Still proud though. The “pack-pack” was in sight.” I even called the Disney Store to make sure they had a stock of Rapunzel backpacks.

Saturday morning I made the mistake of turning on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse which distracted her too much and she got her pants wet. Thankfully, she ran into her BFF Adalyn from her class at the local farmers market and she wanted to go potty because Addie wanted to go potty. Let’s hear it for positive peer-pressure!

What happened Saturday afternoon made me realize my idea of a Mother Daughter Potty Training Weekend was darling, but just ain’t gonna cut it. This is going to go on for awhile.

We were at Michael’s, unsuccessfully finding something for my half-assed attempts at crafting. I kept checking with Charlotte to see that she was “clean and dry.” Things were going great. She had a Rapunzel coloring book and was happily flipping through black and white pages. I let her sit in the large part of the cart so she could stretch her legs. I was searching for the right color paint when I heard it.

Trickle, trickle, trickle, splat splat.

I turned and gasped as pee went through the grate of the shopping cart and into the middle of the scrapbooking aisle. I only reacted. No thinking, just reaction. I scooped my bewildered tot up from the dripping cart, snatched the book from her hand, left it on the shelf and ran out of the store. Charlotte screamed the whole time. Not because of her embarassment over leaving her mark in Michael’s. Nope. She was mad I didn’t buy the damn coloring book.

Yes, I should have fessed up to the managers of the store. I’m really sorry, and really embarrassed. I only hope I don’t end up on the “Best of Security Camera Footage” or something like that.

Needless to say, the coloring book wasn’t the only thing she didn’t get. She didn’t get the “pack-pack” yet either.  I REALLY wanted to just slap a Pull-Up back on her, but I didn’t. We kept it up today too.

The moral of the weekend? Donna Martin may have graduated, but it will take longer than a weekend to graduate out of Pull-Ups.



Prenatal/Pre PR Flashbacks- January 29, 2013

Tuesday, January 29th, 2013

This morning was one big flashback to 2 1/2 years ago.  I should say it was lots of little flashbacks to 2 1/2 years ago.  You know, when I was all round and glowy, maybe a little sleepy too.  Ah!  Here she is…

amy p 2FLASHBACK! September 2010, about 34 weeks pregnant

I joined a group of round, glowy and sleepy gals this morning at Rapid Fitness in Raleigh.  I have been to lots of gyms, but I seriously love this one.  I like fitness classes because I’m an uber-extrovert who can’t stand the solidarity and monotony of running.  (Let’s be honest.  I hate running in general.  If that’s your thing, they have plenty of treadmills and ellipticals with fancy TVs.) What I really love is that they have specialty prenatal exercise classes.

No.  I’m not pregnant.  Thanks for asking, though.

Now that we have that cleared up, I have an explanation for my attendance to this class.  Rapid Fitness’ prenatal class was being featured on NBC 17’s local morning newscast.  As part of my Public Relations job, I do Media Training to prepare clients for interviews.  After helping Brandy, a Personal Trainer for Rapid Fitness, they asked me to use my baby blogging skills to tell all my darling readers more about what they offer.  I was there to observe and tell you all about the prenatal class.

Disclaimer: Rapid Fitness gives me free classes that I don’t attend like I should.  My opinions, however, come up more than they should.  They are totally free and totally honest.

Being with the TV news crew gave me flashbacks to all my early morning hours as a news reporter.  I was all busy and harried, maybe a little stressed too.  Ah!  Here she is… (Really cold and miserable on this day, apparently.)

news 1FLASHBACK!  No joke. EXACTLY 3 years ago today January 29, 2010 (Found it on Facebook.)

This morning Brandy discussed the importance of prenatal fitness.  As a personal trainer and mother of a 2 1/2 year old, she works with moms-to-be to stay fit before pregnancy.  She explained to Page Crawford from NBC 17 that exercise while you’re pregnant can help with the following…

  • More energy
  • Less moody
  • Better sleep
  • Easier labor and delivery
  • Decreased chance of Gestational Diabetes

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.  “Ha!  Sounds good Amy, let’s go workout when I’m already more tired then I have ever been in my entire life.  Did someone poison my food?  Seriously.”  I hear you.  These recommendations come with a caveat.  Do what your doctor says is okay.  Don’t push it.  That is something they really stress at Rapid Fitness.  Let me tell you, these were some seriously dedicated pregnant chicks.

photo rp 1

You see the blond on the left?  That’s Jennifer.  She is my sweet, adorable coworker whom I love working with.  You want to talk about a tough cookie?  This poor girl has had an awful pregnancy!  She has been sick EVERY DAY.  If you have questions about Zofram and extreme exhaustion, Jennifer can answer them.  She is expecting a boy in May, and I think she will be glad to not be pregnant.  Yet here she was this morning, toning muscles and keeping her body strong.  She is my new hero.

All the exercises they offer in the class are modified and lower impact to make them safe for pregnancy.  They did lunges and squats to prepare your legs and booty for the big pushes of labor.  The class then used small free weights to tone arms.  I know I’m not the only one whose arms were seriously sore after labor. It’s hard work to pull yourself up by your legs like that.  Bouncing and sitting on the exercise ball while lifting the weights was encouraged.  Of course breathing, stretching, and water breaks were a huge priority.  (Wait, not those kind of water breaks!)  


I’m making it a personal goal to do more low-impact exercise the next time I get pregnant. (Whenever that is. Again, I’m not pregnant.)  I did a lot of walking the first go-around, but I want more overall tone this time.

Were you/are you able to exercise during pregnancy? What kind of exercise did you do/are you doing while pregnant?  Did you take a class?  Did it help you feel better during pregnancy or labor and delivery?  

Watch the NBC 17 segments here and here so you can see some of the exercises.  (The second link is longer and you can hear more interviews!)


Hair raising issue- January 10, 2013

Thursday, January 10th, 2013

As a teenager I would stand at my bedroom mirror with a copy of Seventeen magazine propped up so I could see step-by-step how to style my hair with one of their umpteen “Get Gorgeous” or “Hot Hair” tutorials. I’m not sure why I remember one issue in particular.  Maybe it’s because  I spent a great deal of time modeling my ‘do after a model’s in that issue.  Alicia Silverstone was on the cover.

Ah!  There it is.  Thanks Google.

July, 1995.  That would have been a month before my 14th birthday and two months before I started high school.  I bet I had watched reruns of MTV Spring Break that day.  I wonder if I logged on to my America Online account that morning before ballet class?  Probably.  I no doubt took magazine quizzes to find out my dating style, even though I had never been on an actual date.  Basically, I was at the height of my adolescent insecurity and unknowingly headed straight for full-on teen angst and a diagnosed eating disorder in another year-and-a-half.

I think I remember trying for something new that summer.  I was headed for a new school, high school, so obviously a new hairstyle was in order.  No matter how many times I pulled my turquoise and magenta paddle brush through my hair, I couldn’t get it just right.  I would frown and say something to my reflection like, “Ugh!  I hate my hair!”  I slammed the magazine shut and stared at Alicia Silverstone in all her mid-nineties coolness.

Whenever the issue of beauty magazines and women’s body image comes up, I think of that issue of Seventeen.

Fast-forward 17 years to the other night.  I went through the Health and Fitness part of Pinterest to get some inspiration for working out and shedding a few holiday pounds.  Later, I stood at the bathroom mirror with my iPad propped against the mirror, trying to do my hair like a woman in a Pinterest hair tutorial.  I stared at my 31-year-old reflection, getting further frustrated that I suck at elegant loose fishtail braids.  Instantly Alicia Silverstone popped in my mind.  I looked at myself and shook my head loose of my attempted braid.

I thought of my two-year-old daughter and my pledge to not obsess over weight and appearance.  Yeah, I weigh more now than I ever have now that I have a desk job, but I’m healthy.  My husband and I  decided awhile ago not to describe people as “fat”, “skinny”, “chunky”, or “chubby” around our daughter there’s really no reason for it.

Just then she came in.  She was giggling and proudly showing me her full belly after dinner.  I closed my Pinterest app and scooped her up.  I said to her.  “Charlotte, you are so beautiful!  You have a beautiful, strong, healthy body.  Do you love your body?”  She smiled and said, “Ya! Lob my bodee!”  I smiled and instantly dismissed all the negative things I think about my appearance.  Whether it was 1995 Seventeen magazine or 2013 Pinterest, it seemed silly and I scaled back my weight loss resolutions.  I said “Mama loves her body too!”


Happy Holiday- January 1, 2013

Tuesday, January 1st, 2013

I haven’t written since Christmas, and even then I didn’t really write.  I’ve just enjoyed my vacation.  It was a week of uninterrupted time with family and friends and exactly what our little family needed.  No work, no blogging.  It was really fantastic.  Do it if you can.

It could be the excitement of having Christmas with a 2-year-old that made this year special, but that’s not all of it.  I can’t put my finger on one thing that made it fantastic.  It was every little moment.  I think we have to go back before our actual vacation, to the week before Thanksgiving.

  • That is when we took Charlotte to her first Christmas parade and the Santa mania began.  She didn’t even want to sit in her wagon.  Nope, only our shoulders would do.  She wanted to see everything.
  • During Thanksgiving she watched her first Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  She couldn’t wait for the Sesame Street float while she sat on her Sesame Street potty.  Greyson and I laughed and laughed at our little naked baby.
  • Charlotte ran to Santa and gave him a hug.  She asked him for a baby doll.
  • One night in December, Greyson and I had a date night to see Raleigh’s famous version of “A Christmas Carol.”  My former colleague and great friend, Mark played Nephew Fred.  I was so proud I teared up.  When the cast ran into the audience as part of the performance, he found us and hugged us.
  • Another night I had a girls night at “The Nutcracker” I told all of you about.
  • We got an extra special treat when Greyson’s parents surprised us and flew in from Colorado the weekend before Christmas.  They got to give Charlotte her new kitchen set.
  • I got together with my friends from my old dance company growing up since everyone was in town for the holidays.  Some still dance.  For others like me, competitions, recitals, bleeding toes and tutus are all part of a past life.  It was exciting to catch up with them and plan dance days for our own daughters.  
  • I also got to meet up with friends from high school.  It was like herding cats for Meagan, Megan and myself to keep track of our two-year-olds.  I love seeing old friends from the past and seeing their life successes.  It does my heart good.  For me, when I look at old friends I see the 17-year-old me, forever preserved in them.
  • Santa came!  Her beloved baby doll was in her arms.
  • We traveled to my Grandparents houses for a little extended-family time.  Charlotte has not stopped talking about her second cousins Lana, Emma, and Willow.
  • New Years Eve we went downtown to Raleigh’s First Night celebration.  We drop an acorn because we’re the City of Oaks.  It’s silly, we know, but it’s our thing here in the Capital City.  We went to the 7:00pm Acorn Drop for children.  This was Charlotte’s first and she couldn’t have been more delightful.  If she kissed us once, it was a million times.  I teared up singing Auld Lang Syne at 7:01pm.  I was that ridiculously happy with my bundled-up little family.
We’re recharged.  We’re ready to go.  We’re ready for all that 2013 may bring.  I hope your holidays were special too.  Happy New Year.

Quick sidenote:  This holiday I realized how often I use my Instagram.  (Duh! See above post.  Half these pics are IG.) Seriously.  It’s as much as I use Twitter and Facebook.  I’ve had my account for about 1 1/2 years.  I was shocked at BlogHer ’12 how many bloggers I recognized from Instagram.  Therefore, I’m keeping my account even though many are jumping ship because of all the drama.  I’m considering watermarking my pics.  I dunno.  I just don’t want to worry about it.  Anyway, let me know what you decided.  Let me know if I’m not following you!