Posts Tagged ‘siblings’

The Magic Number? Deciding to Have Two or Three Children- May 27, 2015

Wednesday, May 27th, 2015

Scrolling through my Facebook feed I came across another woman with kids the same age as mine. She proudly posed with her newborn as well. Her third baby. Then I saw another friend pregnant with her third. Last week I got the same question two days in a row from friends, “So, are you done? Or are you going to have more kids?”

Oh, wow. I really don’t know, ya’ll.

mother of two or three

I ask myself that everyday. I look at my kids’ faces and think, “We make the most adorable babies. We already have two, why not have another?!” I love babies. I love being a mother. I soak up the sweetness of my children and wonder how a third child would change our dynamic.

I’ve read the articles about how families with three kids are the most stressed and heard how miserable and awful middle children are. I don’t believe any of that! First of all, I’m not buying that “middle child” garbage. I know some amazing middle children. My husband Greyson is an amazing, well adjusted middle child who grew up to be a successful business leader in his company after following his dream of becoming a sportscaster. He’s a loving husband, father and provider. My Aunt Wanda is a middle child and is the glue that holds our family together. She raised twins, welcomed another child into her home to raise, had a career as an educator and has been married to my uncle for more than 30 years. I pray my children, no matter their birth order, are like these middle children. Recent studies show middle children are pretty much as well-adjusted as the rest of the family and “Middle Child Syndrome” is totally exaggerated.

Glasses-Oh-mom-glasses

Courtesy: pixshark.com

Some people have told me that they assume we’re done having babies because we have a girl and a boy. I see friends with two of the same sex who may try for another. I get that. But, the friends I’ve seen lately are just like me. They already have one of each. Of course there is always the friend who…surprise! Just gets pregnant with baby #3.

But, I want to know. How do you/did you come to the decision to have, or not have, a third child? We’re not ruling it out, it’s just not as obvious as having two kids, you know? There was no question we would have at least two. SO MUCH goes into deciding about the third. Our ages, money, obstetrical health, parenting, careers and sibling relationships are just some of the things we weigh when thinking about this. Please, don’t think I don’t realize how freaking lucky we are that we COULD have a third. I know the struggles of infertility stop many parents from having more than one or two kids. We’re very blessed to have two healthy children. I have to imagine the impact of caring for sick children or kids with special needs may alter some parents’ decisions on family planning as well.

If we don’t have a third, I don’t think I’ll feel incomplete or anything. Life will still be great and our family will be fine. Again, we’re so blessed. Do we want to add another little blessing?

Last week in the car Charlotte asked from the back seat, “Mommy, are we going to have any more babies in our family?” I gave the answer I give everyone, “I don’t know.” I returned her question, “Do you want another baby in our family?” She said, “Yes! I want it to be a girl and I want to name her Starlight!”

Then she said, “How do you get a baby in your belly, anyway?” Oh, yikes. Maybe I’m not ready for another. Then my husband says, “Well, if we have three, we have to have four kids. You know…balance.”

Sure. Starlight and Fourthkid. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. I will say, if we have a little Starlight, no one is allowed to buy him/her anything. We have everything. Starlight will live in hand-me-downs. That’s just part of being the youngest. (Says the oldest child with a smirk, as she writes this blog post.)

Share

Dance Brother- May 2, 2015

Saturday, May 2nd, 2015

Dance picture day

Yesterday was all about my 4-year-old daughter and her dance class. She knows the only time she gets to wear makeup is for the dance recital or dance pictures. She couldn’t wait to put on this year’s sparkly get-up. I hurried her through the pouring rain and growing crowd of moms and dancers. I got her ready. I forked over picture money. I shuffled her in line with the other little girls in purple tutus.

Then we waited.

I looked down at my squirming son in his stroller and attempted to pacify him with crackers, toy cars and board books. I chatted with an old friend from my dance years. Our girls now dance together. I joked about him being the “brother stuck at the dance studio.”

I looked at my baby and realized he too could be one of the countless brothers I saw at the dance studio over the years. Bored and sullen, they would wait on a bench or a wooden chair outside my classes. We would saunter by in sweaty leotards, barely glancing at them. They were often still in shin guards or karate uniforms from their extra curricular activity. Their moms made them do homework while they sat. The lucky ones had Game Boys. The luckier ones had a Game Boy, trading cards, or Pogs, anything that would briefly catch the attention of their sister’s friends. The boys would half beam with pride and half cower in fear in that brief moment that a gaggle of girls surrounded them. I saw the same look on my son’s face last week as he toddled among his sister’s classmates. They all giggled and screamed, “Look at the baby!”

We were still waiting yesterday when I needed to change my son’s diaper so I took him into the women’s dressing room where we got ready for the pictures. There were two sets of sisters with their mothers getting ready. I went to a corner to quickly take care of business. Two costumed little girls peered over my shoulder as I changed him as fast as my skilled mama hands could go. I purposely worked to cover my son. I have to imagine these young ladies do not have brothers since they were clearly fascinated by what they saw for a brief second. My unashamed one-year-old babbled and waved at the girls, not realizing the indignity of the situation. One mother said, “Girls. Let’s go. Give that baby some privacy!”

Poor “dance brother.”

We went back out to wait. Another bored dance brother in a football jersey came up to us to ask about a toy we had. I looked at him staring into our stroller and I vowed to either have my son be a cool dance brother in the popular boys’ hip hop program at our studio or at the least make his sister occasionally be a “baseball/football/hockey sister.” It’s only fair to my son and all the dance brothers.

dance brother cropped

Share

Newborn Photos- December 18, 2013

Wednesday, December 18th, 2013

Yep. This is a post where I show off my beautiful babies. It’s shameless. I know.  Ya’ll! Look at these! My sweet friend Brooke is a very talented photographer specializing in weddings, families and kids. Check her out here and on Facebook here. Maybe it’s just me, but I love looking at newborn photography. It’s an ovary overload. It makes me want like, 20 babies. Seriously.

Brooke and I had an awesome time arranging my little man in a basket and taking adorable photos. What it is about mamas? We love taking pictures of our naked little babies. He looks so sweet and wonderful as freshly baked newborns should . I look at these and my exhaustion from not sleeping in six weeks vanishes. I love these children and can’t believe I have these awesome pictures of them. Thank you, Brooke! Tell me which ones you think would make a good canvas or framed photo in the house.

06a

07a

01a

02

05a

04a

11a

09a

Share