Posts Tagged ‘Parenting’

The Magic Number? Deciding to Have Two or Three Children- May 27, 2015

Wednesday, May 27th, 2015

Scrolling through my Facebook feed I came across another woman with kids the same age as mine. She proudly posed with her newborn as well. Her third baby. Then I saw another friend pregnant with her third. Last week I got the same question two days in a row from friends, “So, are you done? Or are you going to have more kids?”

Oh, wow. I really don’t know, ya’ll.

mother of two or three

I ask myself that everyday. I look at my kids’ faces and think, “We make the most adorable babies. We already have two, why not have another?!” I love babies. I love being a mother. I soak up the sweetness of my children and wonder how a third child would change our dynamic.

I’ve read the articles about how families with three kids are the most stressed and heard how miserable and awful middle children are. I don’t believe any of that! First of all, I’m not buying that “middle child” garbage. I know some amazing middle children. My husband Greyson is an amazing, well adjusted middle child who grew up to be a successful business leader in his company after following his dream of becoming a sportscaster. He’s a loving husband, father and provider. My Aunt Wanda is a middle child and is the glue that holds our family together. She raised twins, welcomed another child into her home to raise, had a career as an educator and has been married to my uncle for more than 30 years. I pray my children, no matter their birth order, are like these middle children. Recent studies show middle children are pretty much as well-adjusted as the rest of the family and “Middle Child Syndrome” is totally exaggerated.



Some people have told me that they assume we’re done having babies because we have a girl and a boy. I see friends with two of the same sex who may try for another. I get that. But, the friends I’ve seen lately are just like me. They already have one of each. Of course there is always the friend who…surprise! Just gets pregnant with baby #3.

But, I want to know. How do you/did you come to the decision to have, or not have, a third child? We’re not ruling it out, it’s just not as obvious as having two kids, you know? There was no question we would have at least two. SO MUCH goes into deciding about the third. Our ages, money, obstetrical health, parenting, careers and sibling relationships are just some of the things we weigh when thinking about this. Please, don’t think I don’t realize how freaking lucky we are that we COULD have a third. I know the struggles of infertility stop many parents from having more than one or two kids. We’re very blessed to have two healthy children. I have to imagine the impact of caring for sick children or kids with special needs may alter some parents’ decisions on family planning as well.

If we don’t have a third, I don’t think I’ll feel incomplete or anything. Life will still be great and our family will be fine. Again, we’re so blessed. Do we want to add another little blessing?

Last week in the car Charlotte asked from the back seat, “Mommy, are we going to have any more babies in our family?” I gave the answer I give everyone, “I don’t know.” I returned her question, “Do you want another baby in our family?” She said, “Yes! I want it to be a girl and I want to name her Starlight!”

Then she said, “How do you get a baby in your belly, anyway?” Oh, yikes. Maybe I’m not ready for another. Then my husband says, “Well, if we have three, we have to have four kids. You know…balance.”

Sure. Starlight and Fourthkid. I’ll sleep when I’m dead. I will say, if we have a little Starlight, no one is allowed to buy him/her anything. We have everything. Starlight will live in hand-me-downs. That’s just part of being the youngest. (Says the oldest child with a smirk, as she writes this blog post.)


Elf Rhymes- December 1, 2014

Monday, December 1st, 2014

The year I almost lost our Elf On The Shelf

On the night of the last day of November, that’s when parents suddenly remember.

Tomorrow is December 1st. Thank goodness, the kids’ behavior is the worst!

Christmas will be here really soon. We’ve been using Santa as a threat since June.

Our little friend with the creepy smile hasn’t been here for awhile.

The Thanksgiving holiday has come to an end. It’s time to succumb to a Pinterest trend.

Scrolling through your Facebook feed, you see parents preparing for their children’s greed.

They use a toy as behavior modification, as we all prepare for winter vacation.

The “Elf on the Shelf” is back in suburban homes. Your Instagram will be nothing but those weird little gnomes.

Last night brought intense pre-holiday panic. My child’s excitement for Christmas is manic.

She said, “Mama, my elf comes tomorrow!” as she went to bed. I thought, “Wait, where did we put it?” I smacked my head.

I scoured each closet, every drawer and each box. I found an old bottle opener and some missing socks.

I Facebook messaged my friends like, “Oh shit!” They were like, “Uh oh, girl you better find it!’

I have no idea where my husband tucked it away. Ugh! He’s in Vegas on business til’ Friday!

I started making an elf contingency plan. An elf letter saying “I’m still helping the big man!”

After preschool drop-off I’ll head to Barnes and Noble. That may prevent a meltdown ‘a la Chernobyl.

I gave it one last look in closet junk piles and racks. It was in a box with dry cleaning hangers and an unused Camelback.

My preschooler will not be a disenfranchised douchebag! “My ‘Elf on the Shelf’ is here!” she’ll brag.

Fellow parents! May your holiday tantrums be few and light. Don’t forget to move the damn elf each night.


My Santa hat is off to the authors of “Elf on the Shelf” not only for your fortune-making genius merchandising, but for your ability to rhyme that book. This poem, written in “Elf on the Shelf” style, took me for freaking ever. 

tgiving eots