Nightly Routine- April 20, 2015

For years my husband has marveled at my bedtime routine, wondering what on earth could take me so long to get ready for bed. Exasperated he says, “No one on earth takes so long to get ready to go to sleep! What are you doing?!”

It’s true. I would think most women take longer than their male significant others to go to bed. For mothers of little ones, it’s an unending string of tasks adding to another hour of sleep we won’t get.

bed routine edited

This is exactly what I did the other night and not far from my nightly routine:

  • Announce to husband, “I’m going to bed.”
  • Kiss him
  • Check locks on back door, garage door and front door
  • Unlock one door to let the dog out
  • Put rogue sippy cup in the dishwasher
  • Add remaining dishes in the sink and start the dishwasher
  • Remember that laundry needs to go in the dryer, start dryer
  • Turn off lights, but leave a few on so we won’t get robbed and I won’t trip when I wake up with a crying baby
  • Head upstairs with an armful of shoes, a hairbrush, toys and bag of stuff I bought at Target that was all sitting on the stairs
  • Check to make sure each child is breathing and still sleeping
  • Notice one child has kicked off her covers
  • Tuck her in without waking her
  • Go into bathroom and turn on faucet to warm the water
  • Pee
  • Turn off now warmed water to go back downstairs to let the dog back in
  • Go back upstairs
  • Remove eye makeup with baby wipes because I no longer buy actual eye makeup remover
  • Toss the empty wipes package
  • Wash face
  • Apply zit stuff
  • Apply moisturizer (Although, I have a new skin care routine coming soon! Stay tuned! I digress…)
  • Pee again
  • Remember I need my Neti Pot because of spring seasonal allergies
  • Take Neti Pot downstairs to sanitize it in the microwave
  • While it’s in the microwave, notice I haven’t packed the preschool class snack in the “Snack Basket”
  • Load the basket
  • Find the weekly take-home preschool bag with the frog painted on it to put with the basket so we won’t forget it
  • Realize it’s in the car
  • Look for shoes
  • Don’t find shoes
  • Screw it and don’t get the bag with the frog painted on it
  • Get the Neti Pot out of the microwave and wipe up the water that spouted out of it during sanitation
  • Can’t find paper towels so I just leave the water in the microwave
  • Announce to husband that now “I’m really going to bed.”
  • Go back upstairs
  • Wash face
  • Realize I still have black smudges of eye makeup on my face
  • Look for wipes that are gone
  • Lick my finger and wipe under my eye
  • Remember I have a date with my husband later this week and decide to try an old dress on
  • Try on shoes with it too
  • Try on a different dress
  • Put pajamas on
  • Use Neti Pot
  • Change pajamas after getting saline from the Neti Pot on them
  • Go downstairs and get water to take medicine
  • Listen to husband say, “I thought you were going to bed!”
  • Assure him that I am
  • Take medicine
  • Brush teeth
  • Pee one more time
  • Look for charger
  • Plug in phone
  • Check on kids one more time
  • Lay in bed and look at Twitter until my husband comes in and asks me why I’m still not asleep
  • Reply by saying, “I was doing stuff!”

Husband’s bedtime routine:

  • Comes upstairs
  • Brushes teeth
  • Gets in bed
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